Watch the birdie
A man walks into the vet's office with a birdcage covered with a cloth. He places it on the table and carefully removes the cover.
"I'd like you to examine my parrot please," said the man, "he's been very inactive lately."
The parrot is stiff as a board and lying on the floor of the cage. It smells.
The vet opens the cage door and removes the parrot. He examines it closely, mainly to humor the man who has clearly not yet come to terms with the death of his pet.
"I'm sorry sir, your parrot is dead," says the vet.
"No, it can't be, we've been together for years," wails the man. "I demand a second opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a cat. He places it on the table where the parrot lies and then steps back. The cat circles the parrot, taking the occasional sniff and patting the corpse with it's paw. After about 30 seconds it turns to the vet and says, "Miaaooaaw, meowmeiaaoow, mieowmewww meaow."
The mans asks the vet what the cat said. "The cat says your parrot is dead sir."
"No, nonono, I don't believe it!" cries the man, "I demand a third opinion."
The very shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a golden retriever which he places on the table before once again stepping back. The dog performs a similar examination of the parrot before turning to the vet and saying, "woof, woofbarkgrowlgrowl woof woof, bark."
The man asks what the dog just said. "The dog says your parrot is dead sir."
The man is clearly upset but now seems calmer. He hangs his head in sadness and says, "Well, if you all say that my beloved parrot is dead, then I suppose he must be. What do I owe you?"
"£650," says the vet.
"£650!!!" shouts the man, "how the hell do you work that out?"
"Well it's £50 for me, £300 for that cat scan and £300 for the lab tests."
A man walks into the vet's office with a birdcage covered with a cloth. He places it on the table and carefully removes the cover.
"I'd like you to examine my parrot please," said the man, "he's been very inactive lately."
The parrot is stiff as a board and lying on the floor of the cage. It smells.
The vet opens the cage door and removes the parrot. He examines it closely, mainly to humor the man who has clearly not yet come to terms with the death of his pet.
"I'm sorry sir, your parrot is dead," says the vet.
"No, it can't be, we've been together for years," wails the man. "I demand a second opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a cat. He places it on the table where the parrot lies and then steps back. The cat circles the parrot, taking the occasional sniff and patting the corpse with it's paw. After about 30 seconds it turns to the vet and says, "Miaaooaaw, meowmeiaaoow, mieowmewww meaow."
The mans asks the vet what the cat said. "The cat says your parrot is dead sir."
"No, nonono, I don't believe it!" cries the man, "I demand a third opinion."
The very shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a golden retriever which he places on the table before once again stepping back. The dog performs a similar examination of the parrot before turning to the vet and saying, "woof, woofbarkgrowlgrowl woof woof, bark."
The man asks what the dog just said. "The dog says your parrot is dead sir."
The man is clearly upset but now seems calmer. He hangs his head in sadness and says, "Well, if you all say that my beloved parrot is dead, then I suppose he must be. What do I owe you?"
"£650," says the vet.
"£650!!!" shouts the man, "how the hell do you work that out?"
"Well it's £50 for me, £300 for that cat scan and £300 for the lab tests."
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