Clean Animal Jokes

Clean Animal Jokes

One day at the zoo two snake's met and one asked the other:
"Are we poisonous?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I bit my lip!"

* * * *

An elephant asks a camel:
"Why are your breasts on your back?"
"Well," says the camel, "I think that's a strange question from somebody whose dick is on his face."

* * * *

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What the hell was that all about?"

* * * *

 * * * *

A man inherited a parrot. At first he thought this was a good thing. But the parrot would do nothing but swear like a sailor.

On the first day the man played the parrot soothing music and put its condition down to the stress of moving. On the second day he tried reasoning with it. On the third day he ignored it. Nothing worked, the parrot still let forth a torrent of curse words.

On the fourth day he snapped and after a particularly creative insult the man grabbed the parrot and thrust him into the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot continued unabated. Then everything went quiet. The man, worried that he had killed the parrot, took a peek into the freezer. The parrot hopped out and was strangely silent and then said:

"I am most terribly sorry, old chap, if I in any way offended you earlier with my choice language. It won't happen again. But, could I just ask......what did the chicken do?"

* * * *

How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?